Fear of the Differences

There are many things written about various ‘fears’ that humans have which get in their way of enjoying life and/or moving forward – fear of success, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of going broke, fear of change and so on. What doesn’t really get described is the ‘fear of anything different’ that is an issue for many people – and sometimes almost the population as a whole.

While differences can be a bit frightening until we learn more about those different entities, and while it is important to teach our small and still vulnerable children to ‘stay away from strangers and strange places’- or at least develop healthy caution, the time should come for each of us when we recognize that this universe is made up of an infinite variety of differences, most of which are NOT life threatening, and as adults we should be using our mental skills to sort out those which may truly represent a threat (like an elephant or speeding car heading straight at us, or someone deranged pointing a gun at us, or a poisonous snake coiled and ready to strike) and deal with that, rather than automatically reacting to anything different as threatening and dangerous. Even when we perceive danger there is more than one way to handle it effectively.

Right now we see some political contenders wanting to ban all Mexicans, all Syrians, all Muslims – from coming into our country and acting as if they are evil just because they belong to that group. It also hasn’t been that long ago that Malala Yousef was shot because she was pushing for girls to do something different – to have an education. We regularly see religious groups condemning each other to hell because they don’t worship the ‘right’ (ie the same as them) way! We fear people with different skin colors- or even shades of colors, of a different sex or with different sexual orientation, with different intellectual abilities, with different hobbies, from different countries, from different religions, who dress differently, or fix their hair differently or THINK differently. If you read history about the initial reception of things like the electric light and the telephone you see those ideas as not only seen by many as useless, but even dangerous. Although computers have been around for a long time, many people, particularly more senior people, treat them as something fearsome or even dangerous.

At least in this country, the WASP male (white anglo-saxon protestant male) is seen as the prototype ‘good guy’ no matter what bad habits he might have and despite the fact he is no longer the ‘majority’ of the population yet still seems to be considered that as well. While it certainly adds comfort to belong to a group that you can immediately identify with and thus hopefully turn to in safety, our own group and sometimes even our own family is not necessarily safe – and may be much less safe than a group of strangers in some situations. While it can be a bit challenging to reach out and connect with some group that is ‘different’ or outside our circle, it also offers an opportunity to grow ourselves in many ways. Think about what it would be like if everyone were exactly the same – 7 billion WASPS! They would all look alike, talk alike, think alike, dress alike, be desperate for sex because there would be no females, have the same hobbies and interests, eat the same food, live in exactly the same houses, and there would be no new tools, different vehicles, new inventions or progress in society beyond a very narrow sphere because they would all come up with the same ‘new invention’.

This universe was made infinitely diverse by our creator for a reason, or perhaps many reasons, best known to our creator (for me, it prevents death from boredom!) But we should keep in mind that ALL THOSE DIFFERENCES are a product of the same creator, just as the multitude of plants, of other animals, of rocks, of sunrises and sunsets are products of our creator. Perhaps it is time we quit automatically questioning the creator about anything different, and start looking at what the value of those strange things might be rather than how fearful they might be.

While I recognize that in this world of infinite differences, what works for me does not work for everyone, most people, including myself, who have learned to appreciate, enjoy, celebrate and be thankful for those differences rather than being angry and fearful, have found our lives to be much more of a heaven and much less of a self inflicted hell. I wish that same peace and love for you.